I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Randomize