I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
