BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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