she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week đ
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have âdaddy issuesâ. Fuck all of you.
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