I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
