Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
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