And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
