I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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