Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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