I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
