? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
