is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
