i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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