I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
