Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
