you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize