I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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