the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize