Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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