Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
