like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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