big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
