Where is the hickey?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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