I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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