I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
