Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
