The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
