I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Where is the hickey?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
