Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
