My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You are a genius and a whore.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize