I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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