If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
