Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I party with great urgency now.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
