Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
