So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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