I could have mohawked her pubes.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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