Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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