Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize