do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
