Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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