Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
