Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I am naked and annoyed.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
