I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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