I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize