After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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