4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
