So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I smell like Dick and happiness
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
