My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
