I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
