do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
