party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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