Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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