Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
