At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
