he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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