So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
