Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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