can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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