Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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