Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm like, not good at living.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
